“My dad, a retired pastor, tells a story about a wedding he officiated for a couple in their mid-40s who were both on their second marriage.
The groom was what my dad affectionately refers to as a ‘good old boy,’ which is polite for redneck.
The bride was quite well-endowed and was wearing a strapless dress.
Whenever my dad would officiate a wedding for practicing Christians, part of the ceremony would be the celebration of the Lord’s supper, as a way of indicating that in a Christian marriage, the relationship is not only between the husband and wife but also their savior. My dad liked for the groom to perform the communion rite with the bride, while dad spoke to the congregation about the symbolism of what they were doing, as inevitably there would be non-Christians there who didn’t understand what was going on. But in this case, the groom didn’t feel comfortable doing that and asked Dad to lead the two of them through the communion together. They chose to kneel down in front of the altar to take communion. Once complete, they were to stand and continue the wedding ceremony.
You can probably guess where this is going, but it was fortunate that the bride and groom chose to face Dad instead of placing him between them and the congregation because when they finished communion and the bride went to stand up, her dress was caught beneath her knees and pulled the front of her dress down so that her girls popped out and landed on the table.
Dad describes it as if you were to lay two loaves of bread side by side on the table.
Far from being mortified for his about-to-be-wife, the good old boy groom just looked over at the bosoms lying there on the altar, gave a long whistle, and exuberantly yelled, ‘shooo weeee!'”
