"She was the first to approach me when she found out I was a journalism student. Having had no friends yet during freshman year, I befriended her. As the semester went on, she got more and more annoying. She went as far as getting another sim card and making up this dude named 'Jordan', just so we could talk about 'guy things.' When I had had enough, I decided to call this 'Jordan' in the middle of class. 

Her phone rang. I went all 'Hi Jordan' on her. She ran out of the room.

She even invited herself when I went out to the movies with my buds, buying herself a ticket. When we said we would be going drinking in a different city (45 minutes away), she said she couldn't come, which was reassuring. When we got to our spot, she wasn't there, but she still managed to blow my phone up with texts and saying 'I miss you,' 'I love you,' and 'You're the best.' 

I was like, This has got to stop.

The following week at school, before she could even say anything, I immediately told her, 'You do know I'm not straight, right?' 

I really am. She started crying in front of so many people.

Her nuances dwindled little by little toward the end of the semester. I moved from Journalism to Hospitality the following term and had not heard from her since. That was until around 2016 when she found out that I broke up with my then-boyfriend. She started telling people how I cheated on my ex-boyfriend with her. 

I thought, Girl, seriously?

She finally stopped after one of my intensely catty lady friends 'talked' to her. I have not heard from her since."