“I used to work for one of England’s most well-known carpet companies, at their head office and main warehouse in South East London.
The problem was, it was abundantly clear there was a big divide between Warehouse staff and Office staff. The office staff tended to get paid at least 3-4k more per month than the warehouse. The offices were decked out with fancy dining areas, relaxing areas on balconies, a pool table, and a chill-out room, and not to mention a big expensive tropical fish tank display next to a seating area.
Warehouse staff had to go out the back or side fire exits to take breaks. We were timed for how long we could go, and if we took too long had to make it up over lunch or stay late. And even though we were doing very heavy-duty manual labor, had to specialize in operating forklift trucks and carpet cutting tables as big as a medium-sized swimming pool, we always felt like we were undervalued.
Anyway, one particular staff member (Let’s call him ‘Dave’) loved to moan and whine about it on a weekly basis. Any time we would be in the canteen and a group of white shirt, stiff collar, suited, snobby office guys would walk past, he would always make some snarky comment.
‘Privileged little brats!’ he would vaguely mumble under his breath.
The office staff mainly rubbed it in his face by laughing as they got in the lift to go and play pool upstairs, or occasionally would say something from the balconies if one of us was below on the floor level huddled around a bench.
So I was about halfway through my shift. Middle of the week. When suddenly, three forklift drivers come shooting down the aisles towards the cutting dept, all beeping their horns and waving down anyone who would see them.
One of the guys pulled up beside my area and said, ‘The boss just tried to fire Dave!’
Me: ‘What do you mean ‘tried’ to fire Dave?!’
Turns out Dave got pulled into a meeting with the warehouse manager and an office manager who was rather recently promoted from second-floor office staff to a head of Dept on the fourth floor.
He had enough of Dave always trying to have digs at the office team, and his blatant disregard for respect, and wanted to make an example out of him.
But when he made his argument against Dave in front of the warehouse boss, he apparently made a load of stuff up about him just to make sure he got fired.
Well, Dave didn’t take too kindly to that and lunged across the office table and knocked out this office manager in one fell blow. According to the warehouse manager a few weeks later, he told me it was a punch so well executed, he wish he had filmed it in slow motion.
But that’s not all Dave did. We had a mini in-house radio station for the warehouse staff as it was such a large building. They pumped all sorts of music into the warehouse all day, and occasionally interrupted it from one of the office girls who would announce any weekly/monthly/annual profits or staff member birthdays, and so on.
Well, Dave broke into the glorified broom closet filled with a sound system and a microphone, right after he knocked out the office manager. He kicked out the girl who looked after the desk there and locked himself in. He then spent the next 45 minutes using the microphone to verbally abuse every single office worker who had wound him up over the years, all in between songs boomed out into the warehouse!
‘That was Michael Jackson with his hit song, ‘Beat it!’ Seemed an appropriate choice after remembering when I saw Jeremy from accounts beating it on the balcony one late shift when he thought he was alone. What a poop stain of a man.
Anyway, next we have Cindy Lauper with ‘Girls Just Want To Have Fun.’ A song dedicated to Janet on sales on floor one, for the countless men she’s been within that office while spreading her diseases across the whole team. Get tested boys! She may leave a lasting impression on you.’
Eventually, police were called and he was dragged out and we all had a meeting with our managers, who told us we had to sign new forms forbidding us from entering office areas without an office manager present, and any other issues between Warehouse and Office staff would be met with disciplinary action.
Dave was a legend.”
