A classic “speak to the manager” Karen story, this one is short, with a funny and hilarious ending you won’t see coming.
“Five minutes before closing, a Karen comes in and is so angry that we don’t have any decaf. She demands to speak to the manager. I tell her that’s me because I’m the only one here, and the coffee pots are cleaned for the night because it’s five minutes to close. No, I’m sorry, I can’t make another pot just for her. There’s another place around the corner.
She screams at me, tells me she’s going to ‘find a real manager and get me fired,’ throws half a cup of cappuccino machine sludge at me, and starts to look like she’s gonna jump the counter. I’m holding a hammer under the counter thinking, ‘don’t do it, don’t do it.’
I pick up the phone like I’m going to call the cops. She leaves. I lock the door.
She COMES BACK AND RUNS FACE FIRST INTO THE GLASS DOOR. LIKE A BIRD.”