“I was pretty oblivious to it all for a long time. Keep in mind that we lived in a fairly small town (5000 people) so people ‘know things.’
I was actually bragging up my now ex-wife to a coworker. Saying how proud I was of her for finally getting a job that she loved after being a stay-at-home mom for about the last eight years. I was talking about how she was working as a ranch hand on a few weekend-long cattle drives, staying in the bunkhouse of the cattle ranch. My coworker said she knows that ranch, only lived a few miles from there and that there is NO bunkhouse. The only residence is a single house that the ranch lead hand lives in by himself.
That really confused me. I asked my ex about it and she denied it up and down and had an explanation for all of it.
Fast forward a few more weeks and another person I know in town is talking with me and I mentioned my ex-wife being at home, which surprised them and me. They thought my wife and I were divorced? They told me that they thought we have split up apparently because they’ve seen them with another guy. Turns out the guy she was fooling around with, was this person’s cousin. Their cousin had told them all sorts of graphic details about what he and my ex-wife had been doing, and now they were sharing them with me as I kept saying things like ‘no way’ and ‘they must be talking about someone else.’
Faced with this new information I confronted my now ex-wife again just outside our house as the kids were inside (we lived rurally). She initially tried denying it again, but then finally came clean. I was absolutely gutted. I was a grown man crying uncontrollably in my laneway, and she got in her truck and drove off to be with him again that night, leaving me and the kids at home.
I could barely eat or sleep for days, the only thing that kept me sane during my waking hours were my kids. I focused on keeping everything as calm and stable as possible for them every day. They saved me.
It’s been about 9 years now. I haven’t been in a committed relationship since. I don’t know if I ever will be again.”