"I was a hibachi server. We used these little bottles to squirt sake into people's mouths. This one night I had a party of like 20 people. After the show and everything, the owner goes up to the table and asks them if they had a good time. One of the customers jokingly says 'I don't think we got enough sake!'

The owner then hands me two bottles and asks me to go back to the kitchen to fill them with sake. So I run back to the kitchen and see two boxes of ‘Sho Chiku Bai’ sake. One of them has sharpie writing in Japanese all over it. This will become important in a moment.

So I randomly pick a box of sake to fill the squirt bottles with, and the manager and I ask them ‘Who wants more sake!?’ Several people kind of cheer because they're hammered so the owner starts rainbowing sake into one person's mouth, while I do the same to another patron.

Suddenly the patrons' eyes go wide just as I notice something strange. Under the harsh lighting, the liquid I'm squinting into this young woman's mouth is...glistening.

Hmm...that’s strange.

The mystery liquid also looks quite shiny running down her face and onto the front of her sundress. So I stop spraying the ‘sake’ at her as she swallows and shrikes, ‘Ew, what the heck was that?!’

I blink and make a terrible discovery. It was vegetable oil.

The Japanese writing said vegetable oil.

I do not read Japanese. Oops."