As shared in our Storyblend Facebook Group, this wholesome truck driver was not expecting the night he had being parked outside of a Waffle House. Just goes to show, it’s better to park your truck off the beaten path!
“As a truck driver, one of the worst problems we had to deal with was lot lizards. Few things worse than being snuggled down in a warm location, catching 40 winks while dreaming of exotic lands, and a knock comes at the door. CRASH
In a truck, you have no idea what the next knock on the door will bring. Is it another driver that needs help, or telling you there’s a fire and move it quickly. Might be a bum or a gun, you just don’t know.
Lot Lizards, often called Sleeper Leapers, Recreational Reptiles, Commercial Company, or Go Hoe Pros, are amusing names for hookers in the truck trade. Every once in a while, you run across a Commercial Buffalo, the male version of the species.
I have no use for any variety of them. I’ve been approached by almost every scam known, and I just don’t play the game. You don’t know where it’s been, or who’s been in, and frankly, there is a distinct lack of attractiveness in the genus. I’ve had knocks in crazy places, pickle parks, what we call rest areas, “extra” service plazas, truck stops, city streets, country streets, distribution centers, and once, in the showers at a truck stop. Yep, one was banging on the doors offering to wash your back!
But of all the crazy places, I was parked at a Waffle House restaurant, getting settled down real good as I tried to read a book. When “Bang, bang, bang,” came a knock on the door. I rolled up and pulled some shorts on, stepping up into the cab, pulling the curtain back a bit. I couldn’t see real good, so I dropped the window an inch.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
A female voice replied, “You want some company?”
“Um, no,” I replied “I suggest you try something else, but leave me alone.”
“She said,” Fine, be that way, then!” and walked away.
I thought that was the end of it.
I was wrong.
Settled back down, I was just starting to drift off when came the dreaded “Bang, bang, bang,”
GRRRRRR!
Back up and shorts back on.
“What do you want!?” I asked.
“You want some company?” she asked, again. I guess she had the memory of a goldfish.
“NO! Leave me alone, I’m trying to sleep, and you’re just pissing me off. Get away, and don’t knock AGAIN!”
As I closed the window, I caught a glimpse of her turning towards the rear of the trailer. I was seriously starting to hope she wasn’t gonna retaliate by messing with my truck.
I peeled back down to my skivvies and no sooner got laid down when “WHAM, WHAM, WHAM!!!” came from the front door.
Now I was furious! I boiled out of bed, not bothering to put the shorts on this time. I snatched the curtain forward, to a flashlight in my face. I rolled down the window and asked if there was a problem.
There were two police officers, one told me to tell the young lady to get out of the truck. I replied that no one else was in my truck.
“Sir, we saw her get in your truck, you need to tell her to get down and we’ll discuss this like adults. It’s illegal to solicit here, and we want things to be as easy as possible, so tell her to come on down, so we can get this over with.”
I said, “Um, I can’t do that, because there’s no one else here. I dunno what y’all think you saw, but I’m quite alone in my truck.”
“Ok, sir, you need to get dressed and get out so we can search the truck.”
“No, officer, I’m not, but, I’ll unlock the door and let you come up and search, if you specifically state what you’re looking for.”
They said the search was for a suspected prostitute. So, I invited one of them up.
I had to open every cabinet, compartment, lift the lower bunk, lower the top bunk, pull the mattresses up to check under them. They looked behind the seats, and even in my cooler while I rolled my eyes in disbelief.
Finally, he admitted there was no one else in my truck, apologizing for the disturbance. I was relieved I could close the book on this crazy night. They told me to have a good night, and call them if I was disturbed again.
That’s the last time I parked there for an overnight stay. I chose much quieter digs after that crazy night!
