“I went to Chili’s a few years ago with my mom and made the horrible decision to get a side of chili lime rice. I ate maybe three bites because it didn’t taste good. Those three bites didn’t seem to get along well with my body AT ALL. Unfortunately, Chili’s was the first stop before hitting the store to do our weekly grocery shopping. At the store, I had to make a run for the bathroom twice. After we finally checked out, my mom made a suggestion that maybe I should make another stop there before we drove home, since it would take at least 20 minutes. I declined even though my stomach was turning, thinking I could make it home (and would rather use that toilet than a public one). BIG MISTAKE.
About five minutes into the drive home, I realized that I needed to get to a toilet or I would ruin my mom’s car forever. After telling her this, she tells me there’s nowhere to stop yet since we were in a residential area. I ask if we can stop at a family friend’s house which is close by, and she agrees. She tells me to give them a call so they can unlock the door and save me a few seconds. I explain to her that if I move to grab my phone from my pocket, her car interior would be ruined. The five-minute drive there feels like forever and I’m clenching my butt for dear life.
We finally got there and I bolted up the porch stairs to knock on their door. No answer. At this point, I was desperate. I knocked again and finally heard someone coming. Right as the door opens, my butt muscles gave out. The friends stared at me as I spewed liquid poo all over their porch. I was just standing there still making a mess everywhere, and the husband grabbed a hose to start spraying me and his porch down.
A few minutes later, my mom emerged from the car, crying laughing, with a roll of paper towels in hand like that was going to help now. Eventually, I was able to make it to the friend’s bathroom (which I somehow managed to clog after pooping on their porch) and wash up. They ended up giving me some clothes to change into, and I was able to get home and shower the poop off. Unfortunately, you can’t shower off embarrassment and shame. So, I will never step foot in a Chili’s again because I don’t fancy pooping on a family friend’s porch again.”