"I used to work for a large distribution center and we had the worst lunch thief. He would steal whatever to-go containers had the best food or if the bags said 'Texas Roadhouse'. He would steal pizzas. I had too many of my lunches stolen.

I bought a small buffalo chicken pizza and put a drop of Visine on each piece of chicken. The acidity of the buffalo sauce hid any kind of smell or taste of the Visine. Around lunchtime, I checked for my pizza and sure enough, it was gone. A little while later my boss told me that there was a security guard in the bathroom. 

My boss said, 'He can't stop. It's coming out both ends.'

The paramedics were called and they asked him what he ate. He told them about the pizza. 

They asked, 'Where it is?'

My boss found the empty box and asked if it was his because it said, 'Property of Ty. Do not eat.' 

He said yes but he was hungry and said his friend Ty, said he could have it. There were two Ty's. One was on vacation and the other was me.

The ambulance took him away and said it was food poisoning. My boss fired him at the front door when he came back to work. He cried and promised to never do it again but my boss told him that if he couldn't be trusted to not steal food then how could he be trusted to not take anything else."