Not every trip to Vegas is a good one… a young boy tells his story of his mom’s disastrous and drunken parenting tale of what not to do for your kid on their birthday.
“My mother took me to Vegas for my 21st birthday. Now I know what you might be thinking; ‘Wow, what a spoiled brat. His mom spends all this money on taking him to Vegas and he thinks it’s the worst thing ever? Entitled prick!’
Look, I tried staying positive about it. I tried not being mad that she wanted to go on my actual birthday and not like the week after or something. She bought the tickets and room package before asking me because the surprise was her whole gig. Then she promised some INSANE other surprise when we got there. Clearly, my mom was grasping onto any kind of relationship she could still have with me after moving out on my own three years prior. But anyways, here’s why it was the worst gift ever…
We leave at 6 freaking AM, the day before my birthday. I can’t drink on the plane yet. My mom is getting sloshed. Enough so that I have to be the DD when we get our rental car at the LV airport. Whatever, have a fun time mom. It’s your money.
I ask which hotel we’re staying at. She says the ‘Bellagio,’ so I was like wow, that’s pretty cool.
Well, she lied. She wanted to go there for a blackjack tournament. Mind you, I’m still not 21! So I’m like cool, I guess I’ll just go check into our room and she said don’t worry about it, leave your stuff in the car. So I get to wander the streets of Vegas in winter! It’s not even warm! There’s almost nobody there! The people that are there are inside gambling!
So after about three hours, I text my mom asking when she’s going to be done and she texts me back saying she got knocked out of the tournament an hour ago!
So she told me to come back to the hotel and meet her. I walk back there, text to ask where she’s at and she tells me she’s in the car in the parking garage. K, thanks for not coming to get me two miles away while you’re waiting in the car for whatever reason.
I get in the car and she’s still sloshed, been keeping her buzz going steady from the free drinks at the tournament. I ask her why she didn’t just go to the room and she’s like: ‘Oh we don’t have a room here, our hotel is (I don’t even remember the name) outside the city limits!’ Yea, a 40 mile drive outside the city! Apparently it was part of her vacation package that included the tournament and my special surprise that she keeps reminding me will blow my mind.
Day 2: My birthday. Day 1 was bad, but at least I’m 21 now and I can join in gambling and drinking it up. Even if none of my friends are here. At least I can spend some time bonding with my mom or hanging out shooting craps or something while getting hammered. NOPE. After our 40 mile drive into the city, my mom points to a billboard depicting ‘Richard Petty’s NASCAR Experience,’ and notes how cool that looks. To which I say: ‘I hate NASCAR.’ I’ve never liked it. I don’t even enjoy most kinds of racing, much less the most watered down, commercialized and uninteresting form of it. So we get back into town, have breakfast somewhere (seriously the best part of the whole trip) and my mom tells me to wait at the curb in front of this one hotel for a shuttle.
The shuttle shows up and it’s the Richard Petty NASCAR Experience. My mom says ‘SURPRISE!’ and kisses me in front of all the other passengers. The NASCAR ‘experience’ was a ‘museum’ with empty NASCAR shells, like just wheels, frame and body. No engine. Several display cases with various jumpsuits. I did not get to drive a NASCAR, I just rode in a mock NASCAR for 2 laps which took less than 2 minutes since the track was not official NASCAR size. I don’t even know what that means but they made sure to tell us. Also, it was a gross experience because you’re lined up and the person getting out of the car in front of you hands you the helmet and jumpsuit they were just wearing. Then a gift shop tour. This is the worst birthday I’ve ever had.
Long story short, I go to the thing, it takes all day, by the time I get back my mom is sloshed again and needs me to drive her back to our hotel and I spend a few hours having a couple drinks and losing money at the terrible casino in our hotel. We leave bright and early the next day.”