You know the stories about long-time friends that eventually date, fall in love and get married? Those are so sweet and heart warming. Yeah – this story is definitely not that! Unfortunately for redditor Macha-Tea, her story was of the other extreme. We’re going to call her Annie, because it seems all sweet and innocent, and Annie sure was that. She was a young girl, had her sweet high school boyfriend and her friend Paul. Talk about a dynamic triangle that is only going to crumble.
Annie and her boyfriend broke up and in the midst of heartbreak, Paul tried to swoop in telling Annie he was in love with her. She made it aware that she did not have those feelings for him, but due to their long standing friendship, she felt she wanted to give it a shot. She gave him a chance to try out being a ‘couple’ – whatever that means in high school age. Her feelings did not continue to progress though, they were stagnant and his, on the other hand, sky rocketed. He was quickly talking about how when they were married she would be the perfect mother.
YIKES. Pump the breaks man!
Annie told him repeatedly that she didn’t think she had those feelings for him and when Paul started saying these things she called it off quickly. Phew! Can you say red flags?
Annie tried going back to being friends, but that was a hard feat with Paul. When someone is that far removed from reality, it is hard to get it through their thick skull, and then they will do almost anything to get you to see it from their point of view. In his mind, they were destined to be together. She was gracious though. Paul would ask her repeatedly if she loved him and when she replied that she didn’t, she would apologize nicely and hoped the questions were just a way for him to heal. Again, they had been friends for years and was hoping this stint of obsession would pass.
Unfortunately, when you don’t safely cut the ties in these situations, it often leads to more heartbreak and disaster. People get jealous, they have animosity, they lash out on the other person, feel mislead, wronged and so much more.
As time went on, Annie met someone new and started dating them. Paul made her feel as though she didn’t handle the situation well, but from the outside looking in, he was just a delusional person hanging on to the last thread of hope that he had.
Paul was incessant. But as Annie said, “I am not the devil for not falling madly in love with him like he wanted”.
Paul didn’t get what he wanted, but this was just the beginning of the terror and red flags.
You know those people that would show up at odd hours of the night, repeatedly, in a creepy manner? They always wanted to talk about something else.
Well that was Paul, “asking if I could come out to his car so he could talk to me, and when I did… He would always be ‘getting something off his chest’… which essentially was just him berating me. Often treating me like I was an idiot for not loving him back, and telling me that my boyfriend was only going to hurt me, and that only he knew what I really needed… “
Annie was so sweet though. Even given all the red flags, and the fact that he was preying on her insecurities, she continued with his friendship because of all the years they had together. I feel like there WILL be a time where she will learn…
“Paul started faking multiple personality disorder… One of his supposed alter egos was a woman named Sophia… He would text me as Sophia sometimes saying things like ‘ugh, Paul doesn’t have any girl clothes for when I surface, could I maybe borrow some of your cloths to wear? Or maybe we could go shopping for some girl clothes just us gals’…. And for the first time… I was beginning to be creeped out by my friend, and that made me sad…. And scared.
My boyfriend at the time hated that I still hung around Paul. He thought it was dumb of me, and he was right… Both him and my parents told me that I should cut him out of my life, that he was obsessed with me, and that they were worried he was dangerous… I never believed he was dangerous, but I do think he had a lot of issues, and part of me felt guilty for hurting him, for not loving him back…”
Finally, Annie got some sense. Maybe she was scared from everything that had transpired. Maybe she had finally listened to her parents or boyfriend. Regardless, one day Paul showed up at her house uninvited and that was enough. She gave him the decency to hear him but what ensued was equally as toxic and crazy as the other times.
“He told me that while he was driving home from work, he had a severe panic attack because he was thinking about me, and thinking about, quote ‘what I did to him’. According to him this panic attack caused him to develop a new alter ego, and this alter ego didn’t know how to drive… So according to him he almost died… He asked if he could stay over night at my house because he was worried that if he drove all of the way home right then, his new alter ego would come out and he’d get in a car accident (I was extra weirded out because my house isn’t between his house and work… In fact, I was quite a bit out if his way).”
Annie finally stood up to Paul and said she didn’t owe him anything. She let all of her feeling out about how she’s not a bad person for not loving him like he wanted and for him to stop blaming her for his problems. She was screaming, crying hysterically and letting out all the inner rage and pent up feelings she has felt for quite some time.
Suddenly though, Paul collapsed. Annie, being the sweet person she is, shook him frantically and tried to understand what was going on and if he was alright. Oddly, Paul perked up instantaneously.
“He looked around like he was confused, and then looked at me and said ‘Oh! Hello! You must be Annie, it is so great to finally meet you in person! I’m Sophia’ and he stretched out his hand, as if he wanted a handshake… Words can not describe how I felt in that moment… Here I was pouring out my frustrations, and he felt now would be a good time to pretend he was having a MPD episode. I was sad, I was hurt, I was scared, and I was confused… He had been my good friend for so long… Was he not taking this seriously? Is he not taking my feelings seriously? I remember telling him he can’t stay over night, and he said he’d go home… He knocked on my door a few minutes later saying his car wouldn’t start, so I called my dad and asked him to take care of Paul’s car…”
Needless to say, Annie didn’t sleep a wink that night. She called her boyfriend crying and told him the entire story.
Do you think this is the end of things? Annie thought it was. It seemed like it was the end of their friendship, that she had gotten a hold of the situation and cut him out of her life. But was their any other creepy or crazy way that Paul could get back into her life?
A little back story…
Paul knew that Annie was enrolled in an exclusive art school. What he didn’t know was that she had dropped out of school around the time they had their last blow out in the car when Sophia arrived.
Fast forward a year…
Paul showed up on Annie’s doorstep. He had enrolled in the prestigious art school that Annie was supposed to attend. He didn’t see her around school and dropped by to see what happened and if she was coming back to school. “He claimed that he was sent by the school to ask me if I was coming back”. Obviously, any sane person would know that this was probably a scheme on his part. No school would send another student to check up on someone else who pulled their enrollment. No school would have any idea that Paul was associated with Annie. No school would have even thought once about Annie after she pulled her enrollment. This was clearly a plot on Paul’s behalf to get tabs on Annie and try to reconnect. It all became evident when he mentioned that he heard Annie and her boyfriend had broken up and that he was happy about it.
WOW! This guy just doesn’t quit! In life, when you truly love someone, you want them to be happy, regardless if it means it’s including you in their life or not. When you are manipulative, overbearing and obsessive, you don’t love them, you cling to them because of your sick obsessions. That was Paul.
After that last encounter at her house, Annie never saw Paul again.
Years have passed and Annie has found love with someone else, who she admits she may marry some day. She heard Paul has moved on and we can all hope he is getting the help he needs. Like any lost friendship though, Annie does think of Paul on occasion. Sometimes, he arrives in the form of nightmares, which I’m sure we can all clearly understand. Sometimes she realizes it affects her more than she would have ever thought. Aside from all the craziness, Annie has found happiness.