“My mom is the youngest of two girls. She and my dad went to high school together, but they didn’t start dating until they were both in college. It was a chance meeting that they ran into each other in a bar. Cute story. Still, happily married and in love 23 years later. It all started when my mom got engaged. My aunt was so upset because she wasn’t engaged first, even though she was older. Throughout all the planning, she was pouting and kind of cold towards my mom.
So the day of the wedding comes. My mom was getting ready with her bridesmaids. She was marrying the guy she has had a crush on since high school, she had her perfect venue, and she’s wearing her grandmother’s dress. Everything is going absolutely perfect, until my aunt (her sister) starts crying. My mom tried to comfort her, because she is the most selfless woman in the world. Even though she was getting married in mere HOURS, she was focused on her sister. A little while later, after my aunt ran off, my grandmother pulled my mom aside. The conversation went something like this:
Grandma: ‘Hey, you’re really making your sister upset.’
Mom: ‘What did I do?’
Grandma: ‘You’re way too happy, and it’s making her upset that she didn’t get married before you.’
Mom: ‘Pardon me?’
Grandma: ‘Can you just be a little less happy?’
My mom was in shock. This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, and here was her mother telling her to be ‘less happy’ so her sister didn’t get hurt. My mom’s whole life, she was always told to set her accomplishments aside so her sister felt special too. When she was younger, she was told BY HER PARENTS she would never go to college because she had a hard time in school (she had dyslexia and ADD before professional help was available). My mom defied all odds and graduated with a Master’s degree. Can you guess who got all the glory for graduating from college? You guessed it. My aunt. And on this day, my mom wasn’t having it.
Mom: ‘Look, I’m sorry that my sister is upset, but today is about me and my fiancé. We’re happy, and I’m not going to hide that or pretend I’m not, just so my sister won’t be sad. Today is the happiest day of my life. And I’m not giving that up for ANYONE!’
My grandmother shut up after that. She did give my mother a disapproving look though (I don’t even need to have been there to see it. My mom still gets them all the time).
After that, the wedding was perfect. My mother still talks about it with stars in her eyes. Now, my mother still has to deal with their nonsense sometimes, but she also has my dad and us ‘kids’ (two of us are adults now) to help stand up for her. She’s very happy. And I’m so glad she stood up for herself.”