“This weekend, I, a twenty-six-year-old female, went on a family vacation with my in laws. It was pretty nice, featuring a lot of hiking in the mountains and scenic views. But when we got home, my partner, a twenty-nine-year-old male, received a very candid and extremely hurtful email about me from his mother. To summarize the content, apparently I’m a fat, unattractive, unfeminine, unmannered, manipulative girl, and how could any man be attracted to me?! Her thoughts were actually pretty graphically detailed. She told my partner that I’m too unattractive to be with him and that he should find someone better to date, ‘Because the quality of a man’s woman reflects back on him.’
My partner obviously disagrees with everything she wrote, but he’s completely unsure about how he should reply. He was raised to never talk back to her, so he doesn’t know how to talk to her without her completely steamrolling over him. I want to support and help him as much as I can, but I’m not sure what I can do. What she wrote about me is very hurtful, but what hurts more for me is to see my partner suffer. He’s been upset and despondent about it ever since we got home. Please note that he’s not trying to make the situation about himself, but it’s harder for him because he’s the one who actually has to do something about the email with all her unwanted thoughts. It’s also important for me to point out that she and I don’t speak a common language, so I can’t really talk to her without my partner or his sister translating. Otherwise, I would call her myself and give her a piece of my own mind about her atrociously unmannered and narcissistic behavior!”
