“I asked my mother to be my Matron of Honor, mostly to make her happy and to avoid a crisis. I chose her favorite colors for my bridesmaids so she wouldn’t be wearing something she didn’t like. I gave her free reign to choose a dress she liked, in the color I ‘chose’ for her. Keep all this in mind.
From the very beginning of planning, she claimed the wedding was not for the bride, but for the mother of the bride. She dictated my dress, my veil, my flowers, my cake, the food at the reception, and the music that would be played. I got to choose my invitations and announcements, but only because I hid the catalogs from her.
I allowed all this because I believe a wedding is not nearly as important as the marriage, and I knew my husband and I would be fine.
Fast-forward to the day of the wedding. I hadn’t seen her dress yet, but she assured me I’d love it. I was so busy getting myself ready, I didn’t worry about it. My wedding was scheduled for 3:00, so I and my bridesmaids were ready to go at 2:30. My mother insisted the ceremony wasn’t until 3:30. I showed her the schedule and she got mad, but allowed that I was right. I still hadn’t seen her dress.
At five minutes to three, she was ready. My bridesmaids and I were already in the car with my dad when my mother came out of the house. I finally saw the dress. It was the exact same off-white color as mine. She was also wearing a small tiara with a little veil attached. As it was too late to do anything about it, I let it go.
I got married (we’ll be celebrating 29 years this July), and a good time was had by all, even with my mother telling everybody who would listen that it was HER day.
Quite a few people who have seen the wedding photo of the whole bridal party ask which one of the women wearing long, ecru gowns is the bride or was it a double wedding.
To me, my mother hijacking my wedding and my special day was the biggest breach of etiquette. The funny thing is, both times my brother got married, she told me that it was the bride’s day and we had to respect her wishes.”
